Back Against the Wall, What's Your Motivation
What is inside of us that drive our competitive nature? or even push us further than we ever have? What is your motivation? What is inside of us that makes us winners or losers? I know I threw a few questions but I ask only make you think. I have always given on relatively easy things. I really do not know why. Perhaps, I do not care enough to fight for things. It was not until I joined a gym with my brother that things began to change. It was a really cool idea, at first. We supported each other on everything! I was an observer, a motivator, a sports buddy and mentor. We were both going to lose a ton of weight and be there for each other. It was fine for the first month and then things started to change.
My brother started to relax a bit and I fell in line. We both missed weeks at a time and we both started to gain even more weight. Actually, I depended on my brother to save my game and in the end, he gave me and himself. We have a family history of heart disease and diabetes should have been enough for us to continue working on. But when your brother retired and you have a father who does not care about himself, much less his own son, it was time to find my own motivation!
I know I could find excuses to stay out of shape and let my health fall into a downward spiral. I can spend the rest of my days focused on managing my blood sugar through insulin-like 80% of my immediate family. It was time; I had to take my head out of my ass !! I was filled with anxiety walk into the gym for the first time by myself. I felt as if everyone was just waiting for me to use something wrong just to laugh and when I did, they laughed. But to hell with them, I was on a mission! I searched all exercise machines and watched videos on how to perform them without getting hurt. To be honest, if my motivation came when; I would not feel bad more! But these feelings were bittersweet because of all the evil that I felt coming back from the gym, made me think a syringe with a few units of insulin does not sound so bad after all.
I had to stop to negative thinking; I had no choice but to continue. Before I lost a pound, I signed up for a 5K run threw my city. I enrolled; I do not give it a second thought. I remember picking up my Extra, Extra, Extra, Great shirt to participate in the event. I trained as well as I could, I knew I had something in me that will make me Finish Line. I ran like hell at the event and finished on average fifteen minute mile. I have not won, I did not care. I finished, it was pretty victory!
Everyone has this false imagery that really is winning. If you do not have a first place medal around your neck, your effort was wasted. Please let me be the first to tell you that this is bullshit! All you have finished in life is a victory for you! I know that everyone in life is facing problems. Believe me, I'm nothing special. But if someone tells me I can not do something, I will politely tell them to go to hell! And give everything. I feel there is nothing I can not do. I will never stop trying, I'll just think of all the negative remarks when I prove them wrong! So let me ask you again, with your back against the wall, it's your motivation?
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